you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
