talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Is this like a preordered booty call?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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