Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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