u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
