All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
