My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
