Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
