Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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