awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
