Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
