you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
