I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
