And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
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