I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
