What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Randomize
