a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Never joke about your clitoris.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
