Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
