something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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