It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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