just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So apparently I’m into choking now
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