How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Randomize
