Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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