I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I cut my penus on the lid.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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