You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
