My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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