can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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