what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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