Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
