I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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