Already got asked if we're dating
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
