I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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