Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
