Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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