Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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