He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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