so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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