fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize
