y did u give ur computer a hand job?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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