At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
