I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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