Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
