Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
