Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
