there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Let's paint friendship bongs
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
