Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
