My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
