love makes seman taste better
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
