they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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