I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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