Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
