worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Randomize
